Operatic Ape

in my leap and offering crumb; may i make your embrace and find myself worthy of your concern. all else is small and greedy habit. - Lord read my pixel and light, hear in the space of my lungs my desire to know you. in spite of my stumbling it pushes up firm in my chest, in spite of the snooze button, i am determined to sit down and stand up, to sing in silence, and to run to you, one sleep crusted eye opening after the other; patient one, beyond the feeble form of letters and the brilliant ring of smacking syllable. - God, i am giddy, and ashamed, tickled, and bloated, and as awe filled as a strawberry custard donut.

Lord you are astoundingly other yet, Lord you are so familiar you comprehend the pain of the ant and know which plants are toxic to cats. Lord, we are dirty and compelled weed our garden, God and give our hearts patience to see the sun shine.

one flesh some recipe to stoke hunger to cannibalize myself good, i am cracking myself; at low tide, at high tide, i look at the stars and wonder what, as the surf begins to whisper sweet nothings in my ear, i feel low, and i feel alone. bright, orbs of shifting gases, dumb, fat and vapid, belching hot air, glazing indecision; well what have you done with my childhood dreams? is this vessel, screaming empty, a milk cup or a chalice for wine? the sea boils with anger, and seasons with salt the purposeless anonymity of unused clay. sinking futility, why am be born with wings and forbidden to fly? why be gifted a stinger to never sting? why be the tension and not the two extremes? why a bee to never taste the honey of which it dreamed? i think i was born a clock and given hands to watch the time go by. sinking dutifully, what can we celebrate in our brief and fleeting lives, how much of me, and how much of you?  We are insects stuck in our skin. We ...

there is God somewhere within the night the cricket chirping paint and messy black of emotion, when i think I know the depth of purple and fathoms below when i think i err, it is being Lord, and it is breath, instantaneous now, and nothing more. When i think I am far and when I am; terrifying, how intensely comforting, to be near the warmth of fire.